Fish Tales

At our local drive-in restaurant, I always enjoyed watching the carhops roller skating from car to car. And marveling at how much they could carry without dropping anything.

That last part provided the most excitement. Not dropping anything.

How could that be?

So, a routine developed.

After spotting a medium-sized pebble, or other suitable debris, I would zone-in on that and hope for contact… and a resulting ’unfortunate accident’.

I wanted a crash. A big one with food flying everywhere!

Why? I have no idea. It’s probably related to watching too many Saturday morning cartoons. It was the 70s, and slapstick comedy ruled the airwaves. Plus, I had big hair – most likely accompanied by brown corduroy pants and an Incredible Hulk t-shirt. What did I know?

It just seemed like good entertainment.

But, it never happened. Ever.

So, I enjoyed my chocolate-dipped ice cream cone and saved my hatched notion for our next visit.

[flash forward to present day]

Last night, at the new 313@Sommerset Food Republic, those childhood memories resurfaced.

But, the game had changed. Good-bye roller skates. Hello Segway!

Food Republic beverage delivery girl

Like a learned behavior, I quickly scanned the environment looking for a weak link. A possible disruption. Anything.

But, being Singapore, there was nothing. Well, almost nothing.

I eyed the escalator nearby. The loooooong, moving escalator.

But, that would just be mean.

Right?

I’m not sure how many people in Singapore ever heard the iconic Wendy’s campaign tagline, “Where’s the Beef”. But, back in the mid 80’s it took America by storm. Everyone was saying it.

It’s a classic case of older being better, considering their current slogan is, “You know when it’s real”. Blah.

Anyway, this week when the inaugural Wendy’s opened in Singapore, the more famous phrase entered my mind – especially when I stopped by for a snack.

More later on why the doors were open

It’s been nearly two years since I’ve eaten a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger and a chocolate FROSTY!

Too bad I didn’t get either one.

Quarter pounder and mini vanilla Frosty

I left the restaurant thinking of several variations of “Where’s the —-“.

Where’s the chocolate?
How could they run out of chocolate for the Frosty’s? Seriously. That’s the most important item on the menu.

Where’s the rest of the Frosty?
A small really means small. They should just call it a Frosty Shot.

Where’s the spoon?
How can you eat Frosty without a spoon? Not right.

Where’s the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger?
Not on the menu. The best burger Wendy’s makes. Not on the menu.

Where’s’ the dollar menu?
Okay, I get this one. Exchange rates, etc.

Where’s the air conditioning?
Broken A/C. 90 degrees, high humidity, no fans. And heat pouring across the counter from the kitchen. Oh ya, and profusely sweating employees.

A little sweat with your food?

Where’s Wendy’s? Not in Singapore.

Yep, that famous American Dairy Association ad slogan applies to us, way out here in Singapore.

Just not quite as much.

Why’s that?

Because the milk in Asia just doesn’t taste right. It’s hard to put a finger on it, but to generalize… it’s sour. In the “the expiration date is nearing” kind of sour.

We’ve tried all the brands. Same problem. Even the more expensive Australian imports.

All sour.

So, when I noticed a new brand at the Cold Storage grocery store, I nearly moo’d myself.

California Sunshine Ultrafresh.

Got (California) Milk?

The name says it all.

What a great branding strategy. No fancy names. No gimmicks. Just let everyone know the milk is from California. That’s enough.

And, the price is about the same as the Indonesian milk down the shelf.

Did I mention they make chocolate milk too? They do. And, it’s fabulous.

I think it all has something to do with the California “Happy Cows”. They do make better milk.

Correct that. The best milk (at least in Singapore).

Trying a pool cover-up on for size

I’m not entirely positive, but I think Singaporeans appreciate a good bargain more than most.

When it comes to deals, there are two brands of shoppers. One generally knows what they want and then searches for the best value. The other simply hunts for discounts and then decides if they want it.

This shopping behavior is probably typical in most cultures. But, the latter stereotype feels more prominent than I’m used to.

It’s the classic, “you can’t afford not to buy this” attitude. No matter if it’s needed.

Sales driving purchase decisions.

Case in point. When a UNIQLO store opened in the new 313@Sommerset mall, the place attracted the best of the best bargain hunters.

Elbow to elbow traffic. Literally. I’m not exaggerating.

Why? All the pre-launch advertising featured the upcoming spectacular deals. Nothing about the products, just the pricing.

So, what I observed inside the store shouldn’t have surprise me. But, it did.

They featured, and substantially discounted, typical winter outerwear clothing. That’s right. Down jackets with fur trimmed hoods, parkas, quilted vests, wool coats and flannel shirts filled up nearly a third of the floor space!

My first thought. Why are they selling all this? Answer. Because people are buying it hand over fist.

Beat the heat & humidity with a UNIQLO fleece!

PEOPLE, WE LIVE ON THE EQUATOR!

This reality seemed to escape many of the visitors caught up in the frenzied scene.

UNIQLO fleece for only $19.90? Limited Offer! Can’t afford not to buy it.

UNIQLO beach party fleece

UNIQLO equator wear

Flower Hmong Girl

Our early morning visit to Can Cau revealed a vibrant, colorful marketplace nestled against the mountain hillsides.

Each Saturday the local tribes gather to exchange agriculture, animal and textile products. And then some.

In Vietnam, the Hmong represent the primary ethnic group in mountainous regions. And, within this group, several subcultures exist.

The “Flower” Hmong comprise the principle minority in the area and their dress almost resembles a kaleidoscopic vision. The embroidery that decorates their clothes distinguishes each tribe within the various Hmong tribes in the region.

It was an amazing experience.

And a great photography opportunity…

Fabric market

Vibrant colored embroidery

Strong elderly woman

Baby carrier

Mother with child

Packing 50kg (110 lbs)

Leading a donkey (in town)

Elderly man

Yum!

A few days growth

What happens when you combine a few days growth with a visit to the Bac Ha Sunday market?

A not so ordinary shave, far removed from electric razors or the neighborhood Great Clips back in Portland.

The market, located in the in the North Vietnam highlands, provides a location for locals to trade everything from water buffalo to locally distilled moonshine.

Just around the corner from the live chickens and right before the small kitchen fires cooking blood porridge, a row of barbers sit and wait for willing customers.

When I walked by, one barber met me with a casual enthusiasm. With only descriptive hand gestures and some broken English he indicated I really could use a shave.

Apparently I’d be much more handsome sans stubble.

So, to his surprise I said yes.

This response quickly drew a crowd of other barbers.

He suggested a price 50,000 Vietnam Dong (less than $3 USD) and in the excitement I quickly agreed and neglected to negotiate the price. I later learned I paid about five times the local rate, but no matter. I think this shave involved significantly more work than the average local.

And if he cut or nicked me, the shave was free.

So, the barber started with a new razor and some lukewarm shaving water.

It made me a bit nervous.

He slowly worked his way across my face.

Notice the motorcycle passing behind

Not that it hurt, but it wasn’t always super smooth. I expect the barber wasn’t used to thicker, Western style facial hair.

But once he finished my face was smooth. No cuts. What an adventurous shave!

Open-air barber shop

The barber and me

More questions than answers

I’ve always liked those colored, automatic toilet bowl cleaners. You know the ones. 2000 Flushes, Vanish, Scrubbing Bubbles.

There’s just something about seeing that blue water and inherently knowing things are just a bit cleaner. Especially when public toilets are in question.

Blue bowl equals someone cares about a sanitary toilet.

But, I found an imposter, of sorts, at the Mumbai Taj Lands End Hotel. Instead of blue water, a blue light illuminated the toilet bowl.

This deviance certainly caused a “what the…” moment for me during a middle-of-the-night visit.

Who decided a light THERE would be a good idea? Does anyone really want to see THAT even better? Does it help guys aim better? Does it help avoid “fall-ins” when someone leaves the seat up? Does the wall lack an outlet for a night-light? Does it use ultra-violet light to sterilize?

Huh?!?!?

I almost forgot, as an added bonus, the light also made the seat warm. No one likes this. Why? Because a warm seat means you are sitting there way too soon after someone else. Bad correlation.

It’s just wrong on so many levels.

New apple "juice drink" at my office

Sugar, water, MILK SOLIDS, conditioners, flavoring, coloring.

What’s all that doing in my juice!?!?

Oh, that’s right. It’s is a “juice drink”.

Silly me.

Since arriving in Singapore, I’ve learned a few things. And one of them is this… if the words “juice drink” appear anywhere on the container, keep shopping. Otherwise, you’ll end up with a watered-down, artificial drink the manufactures attempt to enhance with additives.

Sometimes the words are difficult to see. So, look carefully.

What got me thinking about this? Yesterday, my office switched (hopefully temporarily) juice brands. From a real juice to a “juice drink”. I think I must be getting what I pay for from the pantry refrigerator stocked with free beverages.

Not my kind of juice.

This must not be an isolated occurrence, because the supermarket shelves are overflowing with “juice drinks”. They look so deceiving with their band names. Peel Fresh, Fruit Tree, and even Sunkist. I’m not fooled. They look tasty, but I see those two words.

There's a reason it's only $2.55

This whole situation makes me miss my all-natural, not-from-concentrate, no-additives, inexpensive Florida orange juice, with pulp. Sure, it’s available here. But, for an arm and a leg.

Great price @ $7.50. Normally $9.10.

View from sidewalk

It took several months of passing by the stacked shipping containers between my apartment and the neighboring construction site to realize something.

People live in them. Piled three levels high.

A closer inspection reveals all the normal associations of home. Laundry drying on the front porch. A sportscast glowing from the television. Dinner cooking, filling the air with delicious curry aromas.

Everything you’d expect from home. Except for living in a dirty shipping container with several other guys right next to a construction site stocked with heavy-duty equipment!

Not the typical, idealistic American middle-class home with a white picket fence, that’s for sure.

Far from it.

In clean, almost sterile, Singapore these living conditions feel out of place. It doesn’t fit the stereotype. But, it must be tolerated in the name of progress.

Often the entire city seems to be under construction and that can get expensive. So concessions must be made.

View from above

In fact, the average Singapore boom-town construction worker makes less than USD 16-18 a day. That’s less than 5000 dollars a year.

Contrast that to the expensive high-rise condo they are building, where a single unit could sell for as much as USD 2 million.

Assuming 100 workers are employed for an entire year, that total cost only equates to under half a million dollars.

Not bad for the developers if the project nets 200+ units.

Someone is making a killing. And, it’s not the workers.

Rolly-poly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads. Eat them up, yum!

Okay, I don’t personally know about the “yum” part of that famous chorus. But, I do know one thing.

Many Singaporeans enjoy eating fish heads.

This delectable ingredient finds its way into soups, curries and other regional specialties. While this feels completely foreign to me, I’m told it’s quite delicious. And, people who discard the head actually waste the best tasting part of the fish.

I’m not making this up. Reliable sources tell me this.

Reliable sources.

Fish head restaurant near my condo