Fish Tales

Ever get a hankering for Mickey D’s but didn’t want to move your butt off the couch? What to do… what to do? Well, it’s easy (for me). Because, in Singapore, McDonalds provides 24/7 delivery right to my doorstep. Actually, anyone’s doorstep.

After living here for nearly nine months, it was time to try this out. And it couldn’t be easier. Just place an order on their website. Wait 30 minutes. Answer the door. Eat.

i’m lovin’ it (我就喜欢)

http://www.mcdelivery.com.sg

During my lunch hour, I spent some time saving the world. It’s because I turned myself into a superhero on The Hero Factory website… nice escape from my daily grind. Anyway, after I finished customizing my character, I Photoshopped my own superhero name on the comic book cover because I didn’t care for the one generated for me . And I also sorted out my superpowers:

The Fearless Firefish

• Fire and heat manipulation:
  Ability to control the kinetic energy of atoms to generate, control or absorb fire.
   
• Energy constructs:
  Ability to create complex shapes or even functional machinery out of solid energy.
   
• Energy blasts: Ability to expel various forms of energy from the body.
   
• Energy sourcing:
  Ability to draw power from large or small but abundant sources of energy, such as turning kinetic energy into physical blasts or converting solar energy into other forms.
   
• Energy absorption & conservation:
  Ability to absorb one form of energy and convert it into another form of energy.
   
• Radiation manipulation:
  Ability to generate, manipulate or have immunity to toxic radiation.
   
• Illusion:
  Ability to alter or deceive the perceptions of another. Can be sensory, a light or sound-based effect, or an alteration of mental perceptions.
   

Before moving to Singapore, several people warned me that the government was oppressive and somewhat controlling. During my first six months staying here I haven’t encountered this. Not once. But, perhaps, it’s probably due to the fact I haven’t intentionally sought out content the government deems out-of-bounds.

Tonight, while searching the Internet for an obscure software driver for my old TV tuner card, I ended up visiting one of those websites that serves way too many annoying pop-up windows. As I closed them, I noticed something that surprised me. StarHub, my ISP in Singapore, replaced the pop-up content with a message indicating the original material was restricted. What? Why?

I think this represents the first time I’ve ever been censored. Apparently the MDA (Media Development Authority) believes they know what is appropriate and not appropriate for me to see. While there’s a potential I may find the content objectionable, I still don’t find the need for that decision to be made for me. After reading-up on their organization I learned they tend to censor both violence and sexual themes with the justification that Singaporean citizens are very conservative and censorship of political, racial, violent, sexual and religious is necessary to avoid upsetting the balance of the nation’s delicate, multi-racial society.

Okay.

Why is this upsetting me so much? I’m actually surprised that I haven’t just let it go. It’s not that I need, or even want, to see the intended content in that pop-up window. It’s just that I want to be the one making that determination. Not someone else.

Screenshot of what I saw (below). Notice the recommended browser. What humorous irony that they suggest software that’s over ten years old.

StarHub Censorship

After five years of playing fantasy football, I’ve finally taken first place. And it’s about time! You’d think that with all my invested effort year after year, I’d do better than my annual standing in the middle of the pack. But, no. Well this season was different. And…

I think I’ve figured out the secret recipe for FFB success:

• 2 cups of moving to South-East Asia
• 1 cup of not watching a single NFL game
• ½ cup of secret website offering fantasy football advice
• 3 heaping tablespoons of drafting team completely jet-lagged
• 1 tablespoon of overcoming injuries to draft picks #1, #3 & #8
• 15 ounces of staying up way too late on Sundays (Asia time) setting lineups
• 1 teaspoon of endlessly watching stat-tracker tick, tick, tick
• ½ teaspoon of getting player news before everyone on West coast
• A pinch of good luck
   

Mix all ingredients and pour into pressure cooker. Bake for five months.

* warning, contents maybe become addictive

Scoreboard in FFB Championship Game